So you eat a cookie, stay out too late. “Ooh, I’m being bad!” you think. It’s what you want to do, so why would you think that? That’s negative self talk, and that’s a no-win situation. Sure, there’s a sneaky little thrill to declaring yourself bad, but it conveys shame.

It indulges low self esteem by focusing on what we perceive to be our flaws. When we categorize our actions as “bad” we’re demoralizing ourselves, making an unnecessary explanation for our actions. Like being indulgent is a crime. Like our choices are not valuable.

The more you tell yourself something the truer it becomes. We are what we think, and when we think we’re bad, or less than, or unworthy, we continue to act on that. And talk about it, and act on it, and round and round it goes.

It can impact your relationships as well as yourself. Who wants to be around a whiner all the time? When you continue to talk yourself down out of fear of failure or rejection it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you keep saying how bad you are, not only do you believe it but others will begin to believe you too. That negative attitude you have will drive people and opportunities away.

We all tell ourselves all sorts of things, so let’s make them positive things. Why drag yourself down that rabbit hole of gloom and doom when you can climb up and out by switching to positive self talk. Tell yourself positive things about yourself. Good things.

You can re-think how you think. It sounds corny, but try starting off that positive self talk by looking in the mirror and saying out loud, “I look great today, I’m rockin’ it!” It may be difficult at first but the more you say it, the more you’ll believe it. And the more you believe it, the better you’ll feel. And the better you feel the more confident you’ll be. And with that confidence the better equipped you’ll be to succeed. Positive self talk can drive you right up the road of success.

Positivity is a process, and as unfamiliar territory and can be scary at first. Start with the little things by recognizing even your seemingly smallest accomplishments. Dip your toe in and then do it, jump right in. Before you know it the feeling will be so good you’ll find yourself going back to the positivity pool again and again. It will help you to muster up the courage to stand up to your negative thoughts and that wall of resistance will begin to crumble.

Focus on language and spinning your thoughts into a positive light. Remove the negative contractions from your vocabulary. Replace “I can’t” with “I can”, “It won’t” with “It will”. Instead of “I have to” declare “I want to”. Using positive words and affirmations will put an uplifting spin on your thoughts and actions.

You can choose to accentuate the positive. To feel good about yourself and your life. Listen to your thoughts and when they start to bring you down, choose to put a positive spin on them. When you do, you’ll find it’s easier to go with the flow and the daily trials and tribulations will have less of an impact. When you switch from the limitations of negativity to all the possibilities positivity brings, you’ll wonder how you ever got along with it.

If this sounds like you, someone you know or someone you work with, The Recovery Coach NY provides individual and family coaching, companions & transport, Intervention and emergency services for you and your loved ones. For more information and additional services, go to our website:

The Recovery Coach NY has years of experience and a vast array of resources that can help those in need find the path to the life they deserve, filled with joy and purpose. We come with an empathetic ear and solution-oriented actions that can begin to bring the relief you and your loved one seek.

You can reach out to Cindy Feinberg, President of The Recovery Coach NY via:

Phone or text: 631-921-4085


Through her website: