When you’re stuck in what you think is an impossible situation and you need help, your first thought might not be to call a Recovery Coach. But it should be. Asking for help is a sign of strength! Top athletes have a coach to improve their game and business executives have coaches to get to the next level in their careers. So next time you’re considering which way to turn, think about turning to a coach.
Let’s say you need to solve a problem, a problem for someone else, a loved one. An addiction problem that not only negatively affects the life of your loved one but your life and the lives of your family as well. You try to help, you think you’re helping but everything you do only exacerbates the problem. Your loved one gladly accepts your help but makes no effort to change. The consequences of your loved one’s behaviors have the potential to be horrific. They could become homeless or incarcerated, or worse. You’re afraid they may do something there’s no coming back from so in your effort to help you grant their every request.
Instead of helping what you’re doing is enabling your loved one to continue their harmful behaviors. By shielding them from the consequences of their actions you’re giving them an outlet to continue to indulge in their addiction. You’re perpetuating a vicious cycle of promises to improve and hope that things will change and promises broken.
The alternative is too hard for you to contemplate. You think that if you stop helping they’ll withdraw from you altogether and you’ll never know where they are or how they are or what’s happening with them. You imagine living the rest of your life never knowing and with the regret that you didn’t continue to help. That at least when you were helping they were still in your life.
What are you supposed to do? You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. No matter what you do there doesn’t seem to be a positive outcome. You need help to get you through this in one piece but who can you admit this to? This whole situation is just too painful to talk about, how could this have happened?
You can talk with a Recovery Coach. Someone who will be free of judgement and full of empathy for you and your situation. You may be thinking it’s your loved one who needs a coach, and while that may be of benefit for them you too can benefit by enlisting the services of someone who can help you get through this troubling time. A Recovery Coach works with you, assessing the situation and structuring a plan in collaboration with a recovery team that may include therapists and medical doctors. A plan that will be beneficial for you and your loved one to help you get your lives back on track.
Your Recovery Coach will help you to clarify what you can do to actually help, rather than enable, your loved one. They will guide you in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They will help you create and implement consequences to present to your loved one. And they are there for you when you need help sticking to them. They will share their knowledge of the tools, techniques and resources that can be implemented to make this difficult journey a little easier.
Don’t let shame deter you from getting the help that you need. Shame can be very isolating and the fear of anyone, everyone finding out what has happened to your loved one can be almost as tough to bear as dealing with the situation itself. Having a loved one with an addiction is not a moral failing on your part. There is no reason to be ashamed or feel less than because this crisis has appeared in your life and the lives of your loved ones. Engaging a Recovery Coach to support you and your family during this time is an empowering choice.
It may feel counterintuitive to you to reach out for help when it’s your loved one who is so obviously in need. It’s important to acknowledge and honor that you also need help. Your life has been thrown off its axis by the addiction that has entered its atmosphere. Take some comfort in the fact you’re not the first to be in this situation and there are people who are available to help. Reaching out to a Recovery Coach is a good first step toward getting out from between that rock and that hard place.
If this sounds like you, someone you know or someone you work with, The Recovery Coach NY provides Individual and Family Coaching, Companions & Transport, Intervention and emergency services. For more information and additional services, go to our website:
The Recovery Coach NY has years of experience and a vast array of resources that can help those in need find the path to the life they deserve, filled with joy and purpose. We come with an empathetic ear and solution-oriented actions that can begin to bring the relief you and your loved one seek.
You can reach out to Cindy Feinberg, President of The Recovery Coach NY via:
Phone or text: 631-921-4085
Email: [email protected]
Through her website: www.therecoverycoachny.com
Follow Cindy on Instagram: www.instagram.com/therecoverycoachny
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