Being indispensable is not a sustainable lifestyle. You’re burned out. Too much work, too much at work, too much to do when you’re not at work. You try to go it alone, telling yourself it’s a phase, it will pass.

It doesn’t pass. You talk about it with family, friends, co-workers. Every conversation is the same, you’re all in the same boat, everybody’s burned out. You search for answers, they’re all the same – eat better, get more sleep, exercise, meditate.

It’s not helpful.

Let’s try looking at it another way: how you feel about actually being burned out. Do you feel that you’ve let yourself or your family down? Everyone is depending on you – kids, spouse, parents, pets. Maybe they’re not as dependent as you think. Maybe they’re not as dependent as you want them to be.

Do you feel ineffective and suddenly incompetent at work, dreading the start of each day? Thinking you’re the only one who can do it and having an anxiety attack about having to do it? Maybe it’s not that you can’t do your job anymore, maybe it’s that you are so exhausted you can’t care about your job anymore.

You can choose to give yourself a break. Prioritize your mental health and speak up, speak out. Don’t just talk about how you’re burned out, ask for help! Redistribute family responsibilities – the kids can take the dog out, your spouse or siblings can check in on Mom & Dad. There must be someone at work who can handle your emails and Zoom calls. Choose the confidence, and the courage, to let those around you fly.

Choose to feel good, focus on what you want and lighten up on yourself. It may feel selfish, arrogant even, but go for it. It’s important to make your wellbeing a priority. Everything is not going to fall apart when you choose to step back and leave responsibilities in someone else’s capable hands. The best thing you can do is be good to yourself. It’s better for you and better for everyone around you.

Don’t try to do everything at once. Keep it simple and take baby steps, the little things add up. Be mindful of your time, set boundaries, develop a new habit that lets you feel good about yourself. Choose you, and everything else will fall into place.


The Recovery Coach NY has years of experience and a vast array of resources that can help those in need find the path to the life they deserve, filled with joy and purpose. We come with an empathetic ear and solution-oriented actions that can begin to bring the relief you and your loved one seek.

You can reach out to Cindy Feinberg, President of The Recovery Coach NY via:

Phone or text: 631-921-4085

Email: [email protected]

Through her website: